It's Complicated

As I contemplated saying goodbye for the last time my thoughts were invaded by feelings of defeat
A flashback hit me and I am reminded of happier times our history........Do we really want to retreat?
As time went by the hopes of civil communication fell asunder
I am as much at fault as you, but still I ponder.
What happened to the times when we use to leave a trail of clothes meandering up the stairs?
What happened to the times when we use to think of places to make love on a dare?
Use to be, we didn't need any persuasion we didn't need any coersion
Use to be, the only thing better than a 1st and 10 was the 3rd down conversion.  (It will come to you lol)
We use to love each other without a doubt to no end
It finally got to the point where we just couldn't pretend
What is there to say when there is nothing left to say
It's just not really working out at the end of the day
I had a conversation with a very good friend and he told me to "Be wise in your actions and be mindful of your ways for I am the way the truth and the life, I will give your answer if you give me the praise".

If you are at the end of your rope, please try not to hang yourself just yet. Explore your options. Pray about your situation and stand on God's word and have faith that he will deliver. In the mean time, do what you have to do to find peace. Patience is a virtue and we can all use a dose of it. Before walking out, put it all on the table, talk to each other and if all else fails at least have a reason to remain hospitable enough to be friends. Bitterness only causes hurt and ultimately the death of your spirit....allowing that will eventually impair your ability to see past every other person that can potentially help heal your pain. Learn to live beyond your feelings.......

He Could've Said No

HE COULD’VE SAID NO

When you ask him to pick you up just so you could go on a stroll…

He doesn’t hesitate to cancel plans he just made with homeboy…

He could’ve said no….

When you asked him to take out the trash…

He could have ignored you and acted like he didn’t hear you, but he closed his eyes with a sigh and thought about how that one small thing would make you happy so he took out the trash…..

He could have said no…..

When your’re getting ready to go out and you ask him if your dress looks good on you……

He didn’t uncaringly shrug his shoulders and say whatever instead he suggests it would look better off

He could have said no……

When you ask him to go to the grocery store with you in the middle of November….

He looks at the scoreboard and it reads 21, Falcons-Saints, 14 with 4 min left

He looks at you, and that irreplaceable smile, and grabs the keys

He could have said no….

Running home a little late, you called and asked him to clean the chicken and you would finish dinner…..

By the time you got there, the kids were almost done eating, were bathed and ready for bed…

He could’ve said no….

He could’ve said no to dealing with your baggage……

He could’ve said no to your unapproachable attitude………

He could’ve said no to dealing with hurt someone else created

He could’ve passed you by after the first argument……..

He could’ve done what the typical man in this situation would do

He could’ve given up, he could’ve chose anyone in the world……

He could’ve said no when God said “Listen to me my son, there is only one love that is true”.

There are a lot things that he could’ve done, but It was written in his destiny to say YES to you….

………..HE COULD HAVE SAID NO……………….

Ladies, if you have a good thing you better find some way to keep in tact otherwise you are pushing the wrong man away. My daddy always said you don’t miss a good thang til it’s gone. I never knew what it meant until I cared.

Ladies, if you have a man like this and you really don’t want him, let him know cause you’re just playing. Go on and find yourself the exact opposite and we’ll holla atcha when you get one (a man) that don’t care how you feel much less what God says. Been there, done that. We all have. For some reason BS attracts women. We will believe a lie and we know it’s a lie and yet we justify it. Yeah, you have been a dummy. I can’t be the only one!  I have just found a way to say what you can’t.

I do believe in true love but my definition must have been distorted over the years because if you truly love someone, there should be no question about validity

What's your definition of a good man?

As I mentioned before, there are some good men out there but perhaps your definition and mine may be on two totally ends of a broad spectrum.
Sometimes a woman's/man's priorities dictate what a good mate consists of depending on our maturity level and more often than not we tend to allow our standards to cloud our judgement when choosing. Reconfiguring your wants and needs forces us to separate the high standards from what will truly make you happy. We have been down the wrong road so many times that we have no idea what make us happy.

My definition of a good man is someone who is compatible, compassionate and has the capacity to be at least willing to communicate when things aren't going as planned. Sure, finances play a huge role in your relationship but it doesn't BUY happiness.

A "good" man pays attention to the small things and capitalizes on them in a monumental way.
A "good" man is not easily offended and is instead studious and very attentive to your needs and longs to fulfill them.

OAN: Ladies, don't come down hard on me, but Imma need you to step it up because before you try to go and change a man into something you want him to be , it would serve as a huge courtesy to try changing yourselves...(myself included). Not necessarily changing your lifestyle, but simply altering your approach to your lifestyle. If you continue to attract men that are obviously not good for you, then it is quite possible you need a CHANGE OF VENUE.

SN: We can't all have a relationship like T.I and Tiny simply because we are not will to put in the work and the effort it takes to have what they have. They have been together for a long time and been through things that we can only imagine that are not shown on TV. Stop living in reality TV and start directing your own show. The reality is is that it's time to let your guard down and move out of the way of God's work!

LN: (Last Note) HAPPY HUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This post was challenged by a good friend of mine DNP*****Keep pushing me

I'm Just Saying...........

Random thought: 

Love should be like Jazz, smooth, unintimidating, and not fussy

Love should also be boastful, loud, and command its audience…..but effortlessly

If you don’t know what a Catch 22 is, you didn’t retain the above. It took me quite a while to do the same before I found out the secret of love

They say Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars….well catch this, when you look in the eyes of Love you see *s*t*a*r*s*                         (how celestial lol)

Loves makes you do things you never thought you could, love makes you do things you hoped you never would.

Love is being free. J-LO said it shouldn’t cost a thing. Love is the automatic smile you get when you imagine that diamond ring.                           (she should have a permanent smile)

Love shouldn’t be challenging…or should it? I agree it should make you think.           (thinking)

Love should be everything that’s pretty and Pink.                           (Awww)

This tricky number 22 is a double crosser and swift……….you’ll catch up with in the next verse

Love is the ultimate Catch 22…. A blessing and a curse

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In my opinionated opinion most of all, love should be easy. Ladies, if you have to question love, then it doesn’t exist. PERIOD! That’s what he keeps trying to tell you, but not out loud because that is not how men communicate. Before leveling with you he would rather put up with you and watch you drive yourself crazy while you rant and rave about him cheating on you (example). While he is laughing on the inside your energy is falling on deaf ears.  If you would open your own ears you will hear yourself asking questions you already have the answer to. Stop being complacent, stop being available. Stop being complacent about being available. Stop it I say! He’s just not that into you. Stop making it easy for him. Make it easy for you. You are the only you, you have and there is no love like self love and if you don’t totally love yourself, how can you totally love someone else! TOTALLY impossible!

….Speaking of him not being that in to you, let me give you a little insight with a little song….

“I’m not tryna’ pressure you, just can’t stop thinkn’ bout you, you ain’t even really gotta be my girlfriend. I just wanna know your name and maybe sometime we could hook up, hang out, just chill”. -Musiq Soul Child.

Male interpretation: JUST WHAT IT SAID!

Female interpretation: Girrrrrl, do you remember the really cute guy we saw at the mall? You know I gave him my phone number right? Well he called today and told me he just couldn’t stop thinking about me after we met………

And this is what’s going to happen next:

We’ll go on out first date where we meet up a nice restaurant. We will have a great time chatting, and laughing about how much we have in common and in my head I will be wondering where he has been all my life. He will be the perfect gentleman all night and later drives me home. He tells me he had a wonderful time and how we should do this again sometime.

You adore the fact that he didn’t ask to come in so you decided to invite him in. One thing lead to another and you ended up having sex with a guy with no last name. It was great and he stayed all night. He promised he would call and after a couple of days, you haven’t received a call from which pissed you off (which also means your feelings are emotionally tied) ALREADY!***

After he finally calls you, he gets you back on his good side quickly by explaining that he hasn’t been able to call because he lost his phone. The information he failed to disclose was that he had to make up to his girlfriend for staying out all night the night he was with you.

After a brief conversation he convinced you to go play cards at one of his homeboy’s house. You are pacified by this gesture and thought aww how sweet he wants me to meet his boys…..awwww!  SUCKERRRRRRRRR

Anyway, time passes and over time he, you figured out he’s not the guy you thought he was. You thought he was the guy you were going to marry, you thought he would cherish you, you thought he would be everything you wanted him to be. Problem is every man is not that man. Stop jumping the broom before you gather the straw.

There some good men out there but you are stunting your possibilities every time you think you feel something. Stop putting all your eggs in one basket. You have to be the owner of your own emotions and feelings after all you control them…get a grip, avoid the heartache.

The beginning of this chapter started out with a song right? (refer back to top)

Male perspective….. Short!

Female perspective…….. CLUELESS =/        

That’s usually how men and women are…..IJS

Sooo, Kim Kardashian.... The epitome of a catch 22 right?  Love ya’ Kim, such a hopeless romantic. There is love for you yet girl, I promise!